Deciding who your audience is may be the very most important decision facing a musician. If it's anyone other than yourself, you must do all musical things well AND adjust what you're doing to match and excite your listeners, whether that's 10 or 10,000 people. I won't play the same songs or sing the same way when I visit my Dad at Thanksgiving as when I'm playing songs alone. If the audience is only you, as an artist you need to learn your craft, but you are freer to follow your inclination where it leads, including to oblivion 'cause no one likes it.
Check out this utterly sneaky and weird 2nd movement from Bartok's Concerto for Orchestra. Listen to how the poly tonality (several keys at once) make the song seem normal and strange at the same time. Awesome.
Your fingers are like rebellious teens, squabbling and fighting one another & you. Use metronome & drum machine to get them together